Comments on: Getting Abuse Victims to Help Themselves http://scottsafetyshop.com/blog/2007/10/08/getting-abuse-victims-to-help-themselves/ I use this blog to provide safety, self-defense, and security information, addressing topics such as domestic abuse, teen violence, and violent crime prevention. Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:59:48 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.2 By: Faith http://scottsafetyshop.com/blog/2007/10/08/getting-abuse-victims-to-help-themselves/#comment-8983 Faith Mon, 04 Feb 2008 00:49:04 +0000 http://scottsafetyshop.com/blog/2007/10/08/getting-abuse-victims-to-help-themselves/#comment-8983 Great article on a subject that is very close to home for me. My mother suffered 21 years of abuse by my father, I married an abuser, and now I'm afraid my daughter has done the same thing. My greatest suggestion for helping these women would be to support and encourage them as much as possible. Simply telling a women she deserves better or she should leave that man is not the answer - she has to see this for herself and her friends and family can help her mainly by showing her the good strong qualities that she has. Great article on a subject that is very close to home for me. My mother suffered 21 years of abuse by my father, I married an abuser, and now I’m afraid my daughter has done the same thing.

My greatest suggestion for helping these women would be to support and encourage them as much as possible. Simply telling a women she deserves better or she should leave that man is not the answer - she has to see this for herself and her friends and family can help her mainly by showing her the good strong qualities that she has.

]]> By: Joanne Factor http://scottsafetyshop.com/blog/2007/10/08/getting-abuse-victims-to-help-themselves/#comment-7079 Joanne Factor Mon, 12 Nov 2007 20:12:50 +0000 http://scottsafetyshop.com/blog/2007/10/08/getting-abuse-victims-to-help-themselves/#comment-7079 As a self-defense instructor, I've worked with many women who've left abusive relationships. In addition to increasing resources available to women trying to leave their abusers, I think there are three other key points to decreasing abuse. First, educating women on what abuse looks like in the beginning. That controlling behavior and verbal slams aren't just "the way he is." Second, really believing that we deserve better. Abusers uniformly erode their victims' sense of self-efficacy, self-trust, and self-empowerment. The road back to self-worth is rocky, and those on that path need support from family and friends. Finally, abusers commit abuse in part because there are no significant negative consequences. More and more men are indeed stepping up, organizing to tell other men that abuse is not OK. Social consequences need to evolve to make abuse a less attractive behavior. As a self-defense instructor, I’ve worked with many women who’ve left abusive relationships. In addition to increasing resources available to women trying to leave their abusers, I think there are three other key points to decreasing abuse.

First, educating women on what abuse looks like in the beginning. That controlling behavior and verbal slams aren’t just “the way he is.”

Second, really believing that we deserve better. Abusers uniformly erode their victims’ sense of self-efficacy, self-trust, and self-empowerment. The road back to self-worth is rocky, and those on that path need support from family and friends.

Finally, abusers commit abuse in part because there are no significant negative consequences. More and more men are indeed stepping up, organizing to tell other men that abuse is not OK. Social consequences need to evolve to make abuse a less attractive behavior.

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