Willmar [Minnesota] Police Officer Marilee Dorn talked to about 50 parents about the characteristics of bullies and their targets and about what parents and others can try to do about them.
“Generally, bullying involves an imbalance of power,” Dorn said. “It involves one person being happy and another being miserable.”
Not every incident of “rough and tumble” play is bullying, she said. It depends on whether everybody wants to play that way.
“The issue goes well beyond schools,” she said. “It ties in with all other types of crime.” That includes school shootings, gang behaviors, domestic violence and road rage.
Bullies tend to be dominant, aggressive, below average academically and may have low social skills. They may be seen as uncooperative with adults and as having little tolerance of people different from them. Bullying tends to run in families, too, and bullying children may have witnessed bullying or violence at home.
“By the age of 36, most bullies have bullies for children,” she said.
Boys tend to bully others physically; girls tend to do it through exclusion and gossip.
I’m happy that these parents are learning about bullying. I personally think that one of the best way to protect kids from bullying is by entering them in sports and more specifically martial arts (for kids). Martial art instructors teach students how to diffuse situations without fighting. Also, Martial arts give the kids the confidence and assertiveness to avoid bullying.
Additionally, parents and schools need to take steps on the other end as well. They need to take steps to ensure their kids and students don’t bully, by observing them and by giving them the social skills and tolerance to interact well with other children.
