Self-Defense & Violence Prevention Blog

news and commentary about security, self-defense, and topics like violent crime prevention and bullying

Confidence Is Key In Kids’ Self-Defense

A Wisconsin instructor said the most important aspect of self-defense isn’t physical at all; it’s emotional, especially in children.

“The most important part is the confidence and assertiveness training,” said Greg Schaalma, chief instructor at Martial Arts America. “We teach how to use strong eye contact, strong body language and how to use their voices in a strong way.”

Strangers look for easy targets, Schaalma says. If kids learn to be assertive and confident, they may just not get chosen.

“The child needs to be aware, confident, assertive and make a lot of noise,” Schaalma said. “Those are some of the things you can do before you get grabbed. Otherwise you’re setting yourself up to start from a losing position.”

Read entire thenorthwestern.com article by Krista B. Ledbetter.

I agree about the importance of confidence and assertiveness. Not only can these emotional skills protect children from abductions or such, but also from bullying. Like almost all victimizers, bullies prey on insecure victims who appear weak or unassertive.

In addition to the self-defense benefits, the strength of confidence and assertiveness help one achieve success in many aspects of life. In other words, success comes to confident and assertive people.

What do you think?

By | November 13th, 2006 | SHOW COMMENTS (8)

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I am the creator of this website, which I use to post about self-defense and violence prevention. I have two children who I love so much. I want them to be proud of me, and I hope what I do here contributes to that. Please let me know what you think about my posts by leaving a comment below. I throw my opinions around pretty openly here, but I am totally open to opposing viewpoints and a productive discussion. So please post a comment. And follow me on Twitter: @scottmhughes

8 Responses

  1. Lisa says

    What a great article! It is so true and makes sense that the big problem with bullying is mostly emotional, not physical. Martial arts sounds like a great way for children to learn the basic principles for practicing assertiveness and confidence when confronting a bully. Thanks for the insight.

  2. John Assertief says

    Never have learned to defence myself and there is a lot of work to do.
    Let’s help our children in our society. I agree with you. John

  3. Sandy says

    In this present time, I find it amusing how bullies use to pick on me when I was kid, because on the outside, I always appeared to be this quiet frightened kid, yet when they approached me, they would see how assertive and aggressive I was, and in turn, they would back down and try to be my best friend. In all honesty, I think the idea of bullying can stem from a number of things, but 9 out of 10, the problem usually stems from home.

  4. Sinn says

    Totally agree with you.

    You have some great stuff here man.

    Props

  5. OskyChik08 says

    I’m a high school student, but I dont have a bully problem. My problem is I am too sensitive. I take everything personally without even realizing it and knowing what I know now it would have been useful in my life to learn to be more confident.
    It’s imperative to teach kids these things earlier in life. Even though I don’t get bullied doesn’t mean it wouldn’t have been important to have self-confidence. It goes beyond than just avoiding a bully. It corresponds with how a child will confront anything that comes after them.

  6. Brandi Jasmine says

    If I knew as a child what I know now, I would not have been a target for bullies. The problem is you can’t just tell a child “the problem is you are too sensitive and don’t have enough confidence”. You can’t say “Just be less sensitive and be more confident”. Either way, you are merely describing the problem. As a child I was told over and over again “Just be less sensitive and be more confident” … and I agreed – the question I had, and they could not answer, was just HOW to do that, since those traits were not inherent in my personality already.

    There are effective ways to teach empathy, confidence and to lower hyper-sensitivity. Many personal growth classes teach these skills. There are a growing number of classes aimed at school children, like Roots of Empathy and The Virtues Project.

  7. Nousha says

    I totally agree !

  8. Sensei J. Richard Kirkham b.Sc. says

    Instilling confidence through positive reinforcement can increase learning speed as well.

    If I may share an article on positive rinforcement

    Long Term Benefits of Positive Reinforcement vs Negative Reinforcement by J. Richard Kirkham

    http://kirkhamsebooks.com/Education/Education_Articles/PositiveReinforcementLongTerm.htm

    Rick

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