Self-Defense & Violence Prevention Blog

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

If you need help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. Please don’t wait.

What is Domestic Violence?*
(from the National Domestic Violence Hotline)
Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone. Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:*

* Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
* Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
* Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
* Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
* Does not want you to work.
* Controls finances or refuses to share money.
* Punishes you by withholding affection.
* Expects you to ask permission.
* Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
* Humiliates you in any way.

You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:*

* Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
* Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
* Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
* Scared you by driving recklessly.
* Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
* Forced you to leave your home.
* Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.
* Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
* Hurt your children.
* Used physical force in sexual situations.

You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:*

* Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
* Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
* Wants you to dress in a sexual way.
* Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.
* Has ever forced or manipulated you into to having sex or performing sexual acts.
* Held you down during sex.
* Demanded sex when you were sick, tired or after beating you.
* Hurt you with weapons or objects during sex.
* Involved other people in sexual activities with you.
* Ignored your feelings regarding sex.

If you answered ‘yes’ to these questions you may be in an abusive relationship. Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or your local domestic violence center to talk with someone about it.

Risk Factors for Domestic Violence
(U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)

Individual Factors:

o Low self-esteem
o Low academic achievement
o Involvement in aggressive or delinquent behavior as a youth
o Alcohol use
o Drug use
o Witnessing or experiencing violence as a child
o Lack of social networks and social isolation
o Unemployment

Relationship Factors:

o Marital conflict
o Marital instability
o Male dominance in the family
o Poor family functioning
o Emotional dependence and insecurity
o Belief in strict gender roles
o Desire for power and control in relationships
o Exhibiting anger and hostility toward a partner

Abuse In America*

* 4 million American women experience a serious assault by a partner during an average 12-month period. 1
* On the average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day.2
* 92% of women say that reducing domestic violence and sexual assault should be at the top of any formal efforts taken on behalf of women today.3
* 1 out of 3 women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.4
* 1 in 5 female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. Abused girls are significantly more likely to get involved in other risky behaviors. They are 4 to 6 times more likely to get pregnant and 8 to 9 times more likely to have tried to commit suicide.5
* 1 in 3 teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, slapped, choked or physically hurt by his/her partner.6
* Women of all races are equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate partner.7
* 37% of all women who sought care in hospital emergency rooms for violence..related injuries were injured by a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend.8
* Some estimates say almost 1 million incidents of violence occur against a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend per year.9
* For 30% of women who experience abuse, the first incident occurs during pregnancy.10
* As many as 324,000 women each year experience intimate partner violence during their pregnancy. 11
* Violence against women costs companies $72.8 million annually due to lost productivity.12
* 74% of employed battered women were harrassed by their partner while they were at work.13
* Ninety-four percent of the offenders in murder-suicides were male.14
* Seventy-four percent of all murder-suicides involved an intimate partner (spouse, common-law spouse, ex-spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend). Of these, 96 percent were females killed by their intimate partners.14
* Most murder-suicides with three or more victims involved a “family annihilator” — a subcategory of intimate partner murder-suicide.Family annihilators are murderers who kill not only their wives/girlfriends and children, but often other family members as well,before killing themselves.14
* Seventy-five percent of murder-suicides occurred in the home.